Have Awareness of Opportunities That Will Make You Happier
Ask yourself what you need to learn, what you need to do to become more skillful. All to have more joy in your personal and professional life. For me it was the awareness that things could be better. Most of us are balanced where we take accountability for ourselves and our actions. The issue comes in our intimate relationships. Where its hard not to have blame or get angry and resentful. When this happens it means your not being accountable for you. I found it was my own stuff that actually held me back in my external achievements and relationships. It’s our inner self that blocks us from being happy and joyful.
Look Deep Into Yourself
Self-evaluation is the first step. You need to develop a relationship with yourself. Ask what the relationship with yourself is like. We’re so wired to live life externally and focus on the external that we’re not aware of our internal world. Look inward and find what your relationship means to you. Do you trust and respect yourself? A lot of us have no self-awareness. Once you start to look than you become more aware. That inner awareness of what our state helps get our power back.
All our power is on the other side of our pain. Our fear keeps us from going there. We all naturally develop defense mechanisms and it’s important to understand those. In our society all we need to do is look at our phone and we’re distracted and uncomfortable. We have so many opportunities to distract ourselves from the work that will push you forward to the next level.
Have Awareness of When You’re in Victim Mode
Most of us are in victim mode. It’s the lowest level we can be. Where we don’t feel empowered and are looking around for something or someone to save us. All us can relate to this mode. Where we think there’s a magic fix outside of ourselves that will resolve everything and we’ll be happy. That is a huge red flag of victim mode. The first step is shifting out of victim mode to hero mode. Where we gain bravery and begin to feel empowered. Every challenge isn’t a doomsday scenario. They’re opportunities to rise up and make our life better. We may be in hero mode some of the time but then something happens and we’re triggered. We’re then put back into victim mode.
Don’t give your power away. Have a coach or someone in your life to encourage yourself and keep you on track. Have trust and respect for yourself that you do your best. On the other side be aware of failure and accepting of the possibilities. When you focus on failure you miss many opportunities when you’re not being present. Shift your perspective towards knowing you’re good enough. Most of the negative perspective we have is built into us from being a kid. This makes it difficult for us to understand that we can be happy and we are good enough.
Spend Your Energy Wisely
Surrender is very difficult. For most of us it has a negative connotation and we’re against it because of that. We feel like it’s giving up. It’s actually the complete opposite. It’s saying I can come at this from a place of trust or faith. Just look around at life and experience the sun, water, and plants. There is a life force we’re apart of and it’s much bigger than we are. You can try to control everything in your life or let nature take it’s course. Open yourself to be trusting to yourself and life. Accept that there are going to be things that are out of our control. You’re wasting energy fighting something that you could spend on making something better. If we waste energy trying to control things out of our control it will exhaust us.
Try getting a box and call it a worry or serenity box. Write the things that keep you up at night and stress you out that are out of your control. Put them in the box and close it. You’re not allowed to worry about them because they’re in the box. After a month go back and read them you’ll be amazed at how things resolves itself. It’s hard to not waste energy on these things but you need to practice.
Stay Present With Yourself
When you’re present you can feel what you need. There’s times where you can’t be in two places at once and you’re going to miss something. Be present with yourself and in touch with what you need. Now you can feel what’s true to you in that moment. You can’t look around to see if you’re doing the right thing. You need to feel in your heart what is right for you in that moment. Once you make the call there’s no thinking about it or second guessing it. When you do this you make peace with your demons and you can be at peace instead of struggling with guilt and fear.