Anger is natural, but how is it helpful and how is it hurtful?

Where I grew up there was no shortage of anger.  No blame, no shame, it was what it was. I know I wasn't the easiest child, and it gave me a lot of opportunity (and inspiration) to learn about anger, both my own and others'.   Anger was scary because it was unpredictable and often [...]

2017-08-24T10:37:39+00:00 August 24th, 2017|Uncategorized|0 Comments

Blame always undermines greatness.

I talk about blame a lot because it is such a common defense mechanism, hard wired from birth it seems to protect our fragile sense of being good enough, feeling "safe".  We do it often without even realizing that we do it, it can be really subtle, where we deflect responsibility on some level for [...]

2017-08-18T07:16:14+00:00 August 10th, 2017|Uncategorized|0 Comments

If you can’t change the person…

You know the old adage, you can't try and change the person you love? That is true, we have to figure out how to love them exactly where and how they are. And that is hard and sometimes leaves us feeling trapped and dis-empowered (aka, unhappy). BUT, what we can absolutely do is try and [...]

2017-07-27T14:55:04+00:00 July 27th, 2017|Uncategorized|0 Comments

Music from our childhood holds keys to our present health.

I was driving in San Jose today, on a In-N-Out run, and a classic rock station was on.  The first song that come on was Take the Long Way Home by Supertramp.  That song was pure joy from my childhood.  Everyone in my family loved that song, and whenever it came on, no matter what [...]

2017-07-27T14:55:13+00:00 July 21st, 2017|Uncategorized|0 Comments

Putting It Together: Respecting Feelings AND Boundaries

We all have a right to our feelings and we need to respect those feelings, both our own and others - but we need to hold ourselves and others to skillfully respond/handle those emotions in a constructive way.  Skillfully navigate our feels by owning how we choose to behave in the face of our feelings [...]

2017-07-13T16:41:02+00:00 July 13th, 2017|Uncategorized|0 Comments

Boundaries. We gotta talk about those.

Last week I wrote about how respecting feelings is essential for health -- well, there's an equally important other side of this equation, and that is about boundaries. This is exponentially harder than simply respecting feelings, because it relies on our ability to respect feelings and so much more. I define boundaries as what we [...]

2017-07-05T16:03:06+00:00 July 5th, 2017|Uncategorized|0 Comments

Why is Respecting Feelings Vital to Health?

We cannot be healthy without respecting our feelings,  and we can't have healthy relationships without respecting the feelings of the people in our lives, and having them reciprocate by respecting our feelings. And yet, this is something that I find to be so lost and missed in most people's awareness and skill set. It was a huge [...]

2017-06-27T16:38:40+00:00 June 27th, 2017|Uncategorized|0 Comments