Blame always undermines greatness.

Blame always undermines greatness.

I talk about blame a lot because it is such a common defense mechanism, hard wired from birth it seems to protect our fragile sense of being good enough, feeling “safe”.  We do it often without even realizing that we do it, it can be really subtle, where...

Trust Life. Continue to Work Your Ass Off.

Trusting life instead of worrying doesn’t mean you stop working your ass off, and it doesn’t mean that you don’t address the things that need your attention. I have found that this is a sticking point for many, as it was for me for awhile, so I want...
If you can’t change the person…

If you can’t change the person…

You know the old adage, you can’t try and change the person you love? That is true, we have to figure out how to love them exactly where and how they are. And that is hard and sometimes leaves us feeling trapped and dis-empowered (aka, unhappy). BUT, what we can...
Music from our childhood holds keys to our present health.

Music from our childhood holds keys to our present health.

I was driving in San Jose today, on a In-N-Out run, and a classic rock station was on.  The first song that come on was Take the Long Way Home by Supertramp.  That song was pure joy from my childhood.  Everyone in my family loved that song, and whenever it came on, no...
Putting It Together: Respecting Feelings AND Boundaries

Putting It Together: Respecting Feelings AND Boundaries

We all have a right to our feelings and we need to respect those feelings, both our own and others – but we need to hold ourselves and others to skillfully respond/handle those emotions in a constructive way.  Skillfully navigate our feels by owning how we...

Boundaries. We gotta talk about those.

Last week I wrote about how respecting feelings is essential for health — well, there’s an equally important other side of this equation, and that is about boundaries. This is exponentially harder than simply respecting feelings, because it relies on our...

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