There is a big, beautiful middle path between neglecting and spoiling your kid.
We want to raise our kids to be healthy, kind, happy, and resilient. We know that if we are too indulgent and coddling, they won’t turn out to be strong and healthy. If we don’t give them enough love, attention and support, they can end up insecure and acting out. The cool thing is that there is a big, beautiful middle path. Where we are giving them the warmth and appropriate support. While holding them to high standards that will ensure they turn out strong and empowered.
If you are centered, you can tell when your kid really needs you. You can tell when they’re vulnerable vs. testing limits and trying to get more than they need.
Every kid is different and every situation is different. Parenting is an art form, as opposed to science. It is a dance, full of corrections and adjustments and hopefully flowing grace. When we get stuck, stumble, we have to get back up and keep going.
Sometimes (often times) you need to give them what you feel they need, not what they want. You need to do it in a caring, respectful way to keep the connection strong. Trust and respect are the foundations. It’s an art.
Art comes from an inner sense more than your head.
Tapping into that inner knowing is the best thing that we can do. Combing that with all the “outer” wisdom we have acquired — this blog included! At the end of the day, only we can know in that moment what is best to support our kids. No one else can possibly judge.
Timing is key, and nothing is perfect.
They can tell if we are coming from an authentic place of love vs. fear. If we are coming from fear it increases their fear and undermines trust and respect. Our kids need us to be as brave and skillful as possible. So they can trust and respect us — that means that we have to trust and respect them.
This is the foundation on which everything else can be built.