We don’t realize it, because if we did, we would make this our TOP PRIORITY. I am talking about taking our power back. I am talking about to STOP giving our power away to things and people that we do not in any way want to empower, and instead, to keep the power for ourselves, to use to make our lives all that we dream that they can be.
What do you mean, Pam?
I understand how this doesn’t make any sense, because for a long, long time it made no sense to me either. I didn’t understand how allowing anything to disturb my peace was actually taking my power and GIVING it to the person or situation, and I certainly didn’t understand how this could be something that could ever be in my control. It seemed completely reasonable that if someone did something hurtful, IT HURT, and of course it would disturb my peace. DUH! I didn’t realize how I could get stronger, so much stronger that things that HURT (things don’t stop hurting) could still feel painful but I would stay in a place of peace. The thing about staying in a place of peace is that you have all of your power. You are energized in a way that you are not when you are allowing things/people/situations to disturb your peace. You are in a weakened state when ever you are disturbed. Think about what is stronger, a focused beam of light or a scattered beam of light? When you are disturbed you can’t see the big vision and how to get there and you do not have the energy and conviction to just keep going, no matter what.
When we are in a state where our peace is disturbed, such as anger, sadness, guilt, shame, desire, pride, fear to name a few, we are not as empowered and we are not as clear. We do not FEEL that we CAN DO IT. And let’s talk about feelings, because:
1. they are never wrong
2. they are what they are
3. we need to love whatever they are and
4. they are part of being human.
But, the more work that you do, the stronger that you get from the inside out, the less that any emotional feeling that pops up disturbs you — you recognize it for what it is, a function of the human brain and the human experience, and you can love that and let it pass. You don’t get stuck in it and allow it to disturb your peace. You accept it. Feelings themselves have never caused any issue, it is the meaning that our mind attributes to them that causes the issue.
When you are firmly rooted in your peace, when someone does something hurtful, you accept it as it is and clearly can see what the next best move is. You will have a laser like focus and clarity. Sometimes you need to defend your space, sometimes you can just walk away. Each situation is different and the clarity and power that you have when you stay at peace will always give you the advantage. (see my blog on “The best fighter is never angry”)
So, here is the practice:
I ask myself, is this really happening/ did it really happen?
If yes, practice radical acceptance. Focus on your breath to help with this.
Practice the 5 pillars of gratitude, courage, compassion, surrender and openness and curiosity, checking in with each and noticing which are hardest. If you are struggling with one skip it, hit the other 4 and then come back to it.
Get out of your head and into your heart.
Practice forgiveness, see things from the other persons perspective and how you grew from the situation.
Let it go.
(Repeat as many times/ as often as needed)
Boom, you are back at peace and you aren’t giving your power away to that person or situation.
Like everything in life, it is a practice and practice makes progress. Don’t give up and you will get better at this whole inner peace thing.